My life

My life
I am truly Blessed

Monday, September 26, 2011

Life Updated

I have learned that im not a good blogger. Im an irresponsible blogger who thinks that unless im going to write a long awesome (in my mind) blog, then its not even worth doing. That way of thinking has surfaced in many areas of my life unfortunately, the "all or nothing" way of life is not a good one.

What im going to start doing is give shorter, more consistent blogs to keep people more up to date about what is going on in this area of the world (and in my world for who cares).

I went to the states. It was fun. I saw alot of people, not everyone though. I ate alot of food, not healthy. I worked out in a gym, air conditioning. I saw a movie, on a big screen. And I went to the beach, where a thousand other people were and the water was brown.

Its always awesome for about a week or two, and then it sets in. Its that feeling of normalness. It all becomes the same again. Day after day, the same routine, the same places, everything. Everything is so clean, so protected, so new. Things are wasted, i waste stuff. I eat food thats way too expensive, and I spend money on stuff that ill never use. And im left with an empty feeling. A feeling that was supposed to be filled by all the stuff i have or did, but never is.

Then i remember God. I remember His plan, and His commands. I remember He said that I should lean not on my own understanding, or seek after things of this world. I remember that he says to focus on the Kingdom of Heaven.

I start to yearn for something more, opportunities to give more, and i think about Haiti. How much of a blessing it is to be here working with kids who would (most likely) die without us. Thats an awesome feeling. Its cool to know that God took a dead soul like me and somehow changed me into something useful. He can do it for anyone, and He wants to do it for everyone.

We watch alot of video sermons here. We have one TV (and we are very grateful for that), that we use every morning to lead our Bible Study or Worship. We watched an Andy Stanley series, and in it he talked about being responsible and what it means to be responsible. He made the point that when we are irresponsible we are really affecting everyone else around us because they are the ones who have to "pick up" that responsibility. It really made sense to me, and made me think about when i was living life for myself (i often still do) and how i thought that what i do doesnt effect anyone else but me (excuse my misuse of effect or affect). How wrong was I?

I think of the scripture James 4:17 "Anyone, then, who knows the good he ought to do and doesn't do it, sins". Its hard to read, and brings about fear to my worldly side. It makes me think about that homeless guy i passed on the way to Outback. Or I think of Church when im hitting snooze for the 5th time. Or I think of the starving family living next door to our compound here when I buy a $90 pair of jeans. All stuff thats alot easier to put in the back of my mind and forget about, which is so easy to do when im surrounded with life in America.

But im back, and it feels good, and im thankful. The welcoming we (Stacie, Cameron P., and Myself) got when our van pulled into the compound was breathtaking. Kids screaming, kids literally jumping for joy, it took our breath away. I dont think i have every felt such pure joy in my life. Any time i start missing those worldly things and comforts, i just remember that feeling and it is all worth it.

I want to personally thank everyone who has continued to support me with prayer, emotional support, funding, and everything. Its not possible without you. I love you!

3 comments:

  1. Cameron: you know that heart swelling feeling you got when you pulled into the compound? well, that is the same feeling I get each time I read your posts, each time I think of your journey, each time I remember where we have come from, each time I get a hug from you. We have such an awesome God that has loved us when we were unloveable and continues to guide us in our lives. I am grateful that you are a friend of mine and that you have found this calling. I love you Cameron. Paula

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  2. Cameron spoke a lot about this when he was back, about the extreme uncomfortableness that came with that comfortable america feeling settling in. I'm so glad you guys have each other and can relate! Love on those kids for me!

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  3. I hope you write on this blog one day again. God doesn't need any one of us to change this world, but He chooses us. He CHOSE you. I pray you'd bask in that love.....and live a story worth telling.

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